10 Scary Tricks People Use to Keep Themselves Thin

Anyone who’s ever been told they are overweight and need to lose a few may have gone on a diet and exercise regimen to keep a moderate amount of weight on their frame.

Then there are some people who, because of their profession, their social status in society, body image issues brought about by media brainwashing, or because of a body dysmorphic disorder, are obsessed with keeping themselves thin to the point of emaciation.

These people, for whom body image is everything, have resorted to some really frightening methods to keep their weight down. Such as:

#1. Injecting themselves with pee

A new Australian dieting craze called the “Wee Fit,” has seen hundreds, if not thousands of Down Under dieters injecting themselves with human urine to trick their body into thinking they are pregnant, and allegedly losing up to a pound a day. Urine contains the human chorionic gonadotropin hormone (hCG) that is said to boost metabolism, and burn calories faster. The downsides are smelling like a public restroom, and danger of infection from non-sterile needles. This method has also been declared fraudulent and illegal by the US FDA.

#2. Ingesting cotton or toilet paper

Hey, its fiber, right? Dieters desperate enough to quieten the hunger pangs would take the “cotton ball challenge” by soaking wads of cotton in juice or water, and then swallowing them. Unfortunately, these indigestible clumps of filaments wad together in the large intestine, causing painful blockages, and worse, resulting in intestinal track ruptures that would then send half-digested food and feces spreading like mad all over the gastric cavity and bloodstream. Hello, septicaemia!

#3. The Sleeping Beauty Diet

Can’t find the willpower to stop eating? Take some sedatives and sleep it off. By the time you waken, you’ll be too groggy and fuzzy-headed to feel hungry. If performed repeatedly over time, your muscles will atrophy, you’ll become dehydrated, and your liver will accumulate fatal amounts of toxins enough to fail. But hey, you’ll be thin!

#4. Syrup of Ipecac

In the olden days, Ipecac was a cure-all used as a cough syrup, and to help people regurgitate whatever poisons they had in their body that made them feel ill. For bulemics, however, the sludgy sugar syrup/glycerin/methylparaben compound is a godsend to help send them into purging heaven…as well as heighten their risks of heart attacks, strokes, and aneurysms.

#5. ABC – Anorexic Boot Camp

Yes, ABC has become a movement. Anorexic sufferers themselves have published how-to articles online, and have posted glowing recommendations and first-hand reviews of products and methods of how to best starve yourself. In fact, this movement has a following consisting of impressionable tweens, teens, and young adults who have been led by the media to believe they can never be thin enough to be happy.

#6. The Tongue Patch Diet

What could be more effective than actually sewing on a Marlex mesh right on the top of the tongue to make it painful to eat solid food. No pain, no gain. But hey, its less invasive and a lot cheaper than a gastric bypass or Lapband surgery.

#7. Take drugs

Diet drugs are a billion dollar industry that hasn’t shown any signs of slowing down anytime soon. Drugs make things so simple. No need for proper nutrition and regular exercise, just pop a pill, and you’ll melt the fat away forever. As well as toxify your liver, develop a dependency problem, and empty your wallet while you’re at it.

#8. Go on The Ken

Don’t want to take solid food? Here’s the Ketogenic Enteral Nutrition Diet for you. Have medical professionals insert a feeding tube into your nose that goes straight to your stomach, and force feed you the liquid nutrition you need to stay alive. Sure, you’ll look like a chronically ill person, and you’ll develop constipation, dehydration, and run the risk of growing kidney stones. But you’ll be gloriously thin.

#9. Take an Insulin shot

In fact, take lots of insulin shots. The life-saving drug that keeps diabetics alive also lowers blood sugar and prevents you from digesting carbohydrates, thus resulting in a loss of stored body fat. It will also turn you into a diabetic, damage your bladder, liver, and kidneys, and drastically shorten your lifespan.

#10. Cultivate your own in-house tapeworm farm

Tapeworms are parasites that will feast on all the food you eat, rendering you a thin and nervous wreck. So why not grow your own tapeworms. Inside your own body. All you need to do is ingest some contaminated or undercooked food, and wait until those critters mature in your intestines. Then lo, and behold! Your weight will dramatically drop, and you can always take an anti-parasite pill and poop them out. So what if you end up suffering from vomiting and diarrhea, develop epilepsy, or have to pull 30 feet worth of live tapeworms out your anus…you’ll be thin!

H/T: The Richest