9 Weirdest Schools You Don’t Want to Send Your Child To

Next to having kids and making sure they survive the first few years of their life is thinking of where you want them to be educated. Sure, public schools are relatively safe and pretty cheap. But if you want to go the private school route, here are 5 schools that you may want to avoid.

#1. The Delphian School

If you’re willing to bleed $40,000 a year for your child’s high school education, your expectations are high and you make sure that school had better be outstanding for its price. The best thing you’ll notice about the Delphian School is its beautiful grounds that sit across 800 acres. Another thing is the emphasis on rigorous academics and high standards of personal responsibility. The only problem is its teachings are centered around those of Mr. Hubbard, as in L. Ron Hubbard of Scientology fame. And even though the school denies being affiliated with Scientology, their curriculum is pretty odd by most standards.

“Delphi Schools, Inc. owes a debt of gratitude to Mr. Hubbard, whose extensive writings on education have guided our work in education and provide fundamental guidelines and policy for the schools in their approach to teaching, learning, and administration.”

If you’re wondering what does an educational curriculum designed by L. Ron Hubbard looks like? According to Hubbard himself, “All educational problems arise from misunderstood words,” that’s why there’s a class where where students must read through the dictionary to understand the many different meanings of words like “the” or “a,” or God forbid, “if.” There are also other activities referred to as “training routines” where kids are forced to remain impassive as other students scream verbal abuse at them.

“The former students said their education at Delphian included a dizzying array of jargon, unorthodox notions of academic learning, and an intensive and complex disciplinary system based partly on peer monitoring … ‘It was a very fear-oriented student life,’ said Paul Csige, who attended Delphian in the late 1990s … ‘Students were encouraged to tell on other students.’ … Rule-breakers’ names and violations are also listed on a sheet called the ‘Golden Rod’ that hangs on the ethics officer’s door, alumni said.”

It’s kind of weird that the Delphian School labels itself as “a real-world Hogwarts”. As far as I can remember, Harry Potter never endure performing repetitive and pointless dictionary rituals. The constant segregation and bullying that became part of Harry’s experience, however, was quite similar. Students who are not Scientologists are called “wogs” pretty much similar in Hogwarts where non-wizards were labeled as “muggles.”

#2. Naropa University

Naropa describes itself as a Buddhist-inspired school. And by that we mean there are tai chi, yoga, and meditation classes. There’s even a “vision quest” class that’s based around the “crazy wisdom” tradition of Tibetan Buddhism. In order to achieve the school’s mission to provide a “contemplative education,” students must earn credits by signing up to tai chi or yoga classes. Some departments even required a meditation class! We swear we’re not making this up.

As for the degrees you can get at Naropa, you can major in dance, theater, poetry, and any other field that basically means you’ll be living with your parents until McDonald’s decides to hire you. That’s no surprise because Naropa U is actually not regarded as a world-class academic institution. It was poorly ranked 2,465th among colleges in 2016 and boasts a graduation rate of 19 percent. In fact, it’s slightly above those colleges that are Mafia fronts for drug running.

#3. Maharishi Schools

Here’s another school that will ensure your kid remains unemployed in the world were math, science, and language are very important. Maharishi follows the mystical techniques of transcendental meditation to learn their powers of clairvoyance, invisibility, and flight. So basically, all they’re missing is a bald dude in a wheelchair or you can refer to this place as the “real Hogwarts”.

The Maharishi schools does not reveal the magical side of their curriculum on their website. They simply assure parents that the kids will receive a balanced curriculum, but they have to participate in transcendental meditation sessions twice a day. They even claimed that their “scientifically proven” techniques will help you become a psychic.

The founder of Maharishi School is actually the spiritual adviser of the Beatles. But if you must know, the band eventually cut ties with the guy for “inappropriate behavior” and “financial disagreements.” Sketchy, sketchy.

#4. Burgess Hill School

Any school that labels itself as “progressive” probably won’t be the typical school you were used to growing up. In Burgess Hill, behaving like a delinquent with a ton of behavioral problems is fine. In fact, it’s encouraged because, according to the school, “every child should first find himself, education can come later.” Founded by Cambridge graduate James East, they basically believe that if you stop a child from doing what they want, they will inevitably rebel and do worse things when they grow up. That child should therefore be allowed to bring the ruckus.

Due to an unhappy childhood himself, James East vowed to “make the development of today’s pupils less of an ordeal.” Which actually means that kids must be allowed to curse freely, disregard proper hygiene, and study only when they felt like it. In a promotional video, they even showed how table manners are considered antiquated and unnecessary as students shove wads of meat into their mouths and sloppily share their meals with a dog. Well, not pretty shocking for a school that encouraged pupils to smoke.

#5. Waldorf Schools

If you want to embrace your child’s individuality, then Waldorf school is definitely for your kid. Theirs is an “alternative education” movement that is based on a spiritual movement called anthroposophy. Basically, it revolves around astrology, clairvoyance, karma, and whatever else will bring your kid closer to the “spirit world” without actually killing them.

If you’re afraid mainstream education treats your child merely as a number, then you might consider sending your precious one to a Waldorf school who promised to treat each child as an individual. In the weirdest possible way.

Kids who enter the school are assigned with different temperament labels based on their appearance which include the general build, the size of the head, and yes, even skin color is included. After the children are assigned as “phlegmatic,” “sanguine,” “choleric,” or “melancholic,” they are then treated differently according to that classification. On top of that, Waldorf school is strictly low-tech and anti-technology, much like Hippies. If you’re thinking about phones and tablet bans, you’re definitely wrong! Anything that requires a battery is strictly prohibited. So if you send your kid here, it’s like taking them back in time to an Amish community in the middle of rural nowhere.

However, it’s kind of ironic that some of the biggest fans of this type of education include many in the Silicon Valley crowd who are against the idea of using a tablet to teach their kids how to read. Not that Waldorf schools will teach them to read, they commonly delay reading to the point where children cannot do so proficiently until age 9 or 10.

A guy named Rudolf Steiner was behind the philosophy of Waldorf education who founded the first Waldorf school in Stuttgart, Germany before World War 2. Steiner was regarded as a crackpot whose agricultural theories includes filling cow horns with manure and burying them to please the Earth spirits. If classifying children into categories based on skin color makes you uncomfortable, it’s probably because the idea came from a guy who believed that the highest state of being could only be found in the form of a Germanic or Nordic white European.

#6. Trabajo Ya (School of Professional Prostitution)

Spain has over 400,000 prostitutes, yes it’s definitely legal there. Competition is quite tough so getting ahead in business may require sex workers to stand out a little more. In 2012, a school called Trabajo Ya opened its doors in Valencia, to teach prostitutes how to be excellent in the business and exceptionally shine above the rest. For $120, the school offered a basic course in “Professional Prostitution with Maximum Discretion.”

The week-long course consists of theory classes covering the history and evolution of the worlds oldest profession. The practical aspect isn’t left out, as students practice with sex toys for two hours everyday, while learning from the Kama Sutra. The school was hit with lawsuits from citizens who objected to the courses offered, but the courts ruled in favor of the school. This victory set a precedent for others; in 2014, the Sex Professionals Association in Spain (Aprosex), also opened a school offering professional training in prostitution. Pretty cool, huh? But that’s definitely not the kind of school you’d send your kids.

#7. Deep Springs College

No college experience is complete without frat boy hi-jinks, beer pong, loud music, you know, the whole works. Well, forget all that if you plan on attending Deep Springs. Located in the middle of the California desert, it is described as ‘an elite college as exclusive as Harvard and as remote as the North Pole.’

This college ranch was developed by an entrepreneur, L.L. Nunn in 1917. He was looking for a place where workers could be educated and educated people could do work. Nunn’s vision is reflected in the strict rules and regulations of the school. Deep Springs has strict rules regarding conduct and even admission.

Until 2012, the school only accepted applications from male candidates. Of the 200+ applications received, only 12 were admitted each year. Alongside their academics, students are expected to put in 20 hours of manual labor weekly managing an alfalfa farm and cattle ranch. To teach self-governance, the school is mostly run by the students themselves. During term time, students were banned from leaving the valley, taking any drugs and drinking alcohol.

Some may see the extreme nature of the school as almost cult-ish, but it seems the removal of distraction actually works. A large number of their students go on as juniors to Harvard, Brown, Columbia and Yale, causing Deep Springs College to have one of the highest yield rates in the USA.

#8. Salem Witch School

Catering to aspiring students of witchcraft, the Wiccan school boasts a worldwide student body. No, they don’t beam lectures directly into students heads, but through online classes. The school had a physical presence in Rossville, Chicago where they hosted official events. That was until 2009 when the protests from Rossville’s Christian population became ‘unfavorable’ for their activities. The school moved to Salem, Mass, home of the original persecution of witchcraft, more than three centuries ago.

The school offers courses in Wicca, Divinity, Paganism, Aromatherapy, spell writing etc. With educational portals for the UK, Europe and South Africa, the school has graduated over 240,000 students till date. Before you (totally) disregard this school, completing their Correllian Wicca Clergy Degree Program grants you legal clergy status in the USA and several other countries too.

#9. Grey School Of Wizardry

If you ever wanted to attend Hogwarts, but realize you actually live in the real world; there’s still one option available. Based in California, the Grey School of Wizardry might be the next best thing.

Specializing in occult magic, the school is eerily similar to Hogwarts. Students under 18, are sorted into one of four houses: Gnomes, Winds, Undines and Salamanders. Adult students are sorted into one of four Lodges: Society of the Four Winds, Order of the Dancing Flames, Coterie of the Flowing Waters, and Circle of the Standing Stones.

The school was founded and is still run by headmaster Oberon Zell-Ravenheart. Oberon is referred to as a real-life Dumbledore (he goes everywhere in his full wizard costume, complete with wand.) The first wizard school to be officially recognized as an academic establishment, The Grey School describes itself as a secular, rather than religious institution.

Offering 450 classes split across 16 departments, the curriculum includes gems like Alchemy, Beastmastery, Horse-whispering, wand-making and spell casting. The curriculum gets increasingly complex as students progress. With an active online presence and a physical location, The Grey School aims to make the teaching of magic as accessible as possible!