Getting Annoyed With Your Partner Is Actually Good For Your Relationship

Do you find yourself constantly annoyed by your partner or spouse? You may think that an ideal relationship is one where both of you strive to avoid conflict at all costs. In a perfect world, that would be the case. But as we all know, handling a relationship is not easy and requires a lot more things than mere romance.

Many couples believe that minimizing friction in their marriage or relationship is an essential skill. But according to relationship coach and author Kira Asatryan, there are times when it’s okay for romantic partners to annoy each other. The following are the three reasons why.

1. Annoying behavior indicates a healthy level of comfort in your relationship.

During the early stages of dating, you both tried to put your best foot forward. Now that you’re together, you have discovered your partner’s annoying habits and traits. You now have more confidence to express your thoughts and genuine self, which may sometimes annoy your partner.

Annoyance is a good sign of a “real” relationship, according to Kira, author of the book Stop Being Lonely. That means you have reached a point in your relationship where you feel comfortable enough that you don’t feel compelled to always say or do the right thing. The ability to be true to yourself is important to keep the marriage/relationship last.

2. Getting annoyed means you still have feelings for your partner.

On the other hand, getting annoyed by your significant other means you’re not TOO comfortable in the relationship. It’s a sign that you’re still emotionally invested in your relationship when you get frustrated once in a while.

Imagine if everything your partner says or does has no effect on you. When that happens, you experience what Kira says “emotional withdrawal.” While being constantly aggravated is not good, no aggravation at all is worse. It’s important to have feelings toward your partner, even if those mean little frustrations or annoyances. Not feeling at all would spell the end of your relationship.

3. Annoyances allow you both to see where you can improve.

There are times when you or your partner exhibits annoying behavior. And that’s simply annoying behavior, without significance or higher purpose to it.

However, annoying behavior can sometimes serve as a catalyst for positive change. Annoyances highlight the areas in your marriage or relationship that need improvement. Take a closer look at your partner’s behavior that annoys you. Maybe their being disorganized or messy is a sign of irresponsibility, and that’s something you both should address soon. If your partner tends to wake up late on weekends, try to check if they’re having enough rest during the weekdays.

Getting annoyed by your spouse or romantic partner also gives you a chance to re-evaluate yourself and standards. There may be some traits that you can’t stand, but those don’t have a significant effect on your relationship. Once you accept the fact you’re both flawed individuals, there’s a better chance you can work things out by being patient and mature. In a way, you can channel those feelings of frustrations and annoyances into something better.

How about you? What habits or traits of your partner that often annoy you? Share in the comments below!