Guy Who Blew His Marriage Gives Advice He Learned the Hard Way

A lot of relationships that fail is because of the reason that one or both have stopped trying to do the things that they used to do before they get into the ‘comfortable‘ stage of their relationship.

The honeymoon phase is applicable to most. According to Dr. Emily Nagoski, Psychology, the honeymoon phase is made of attachment — the wildly powerful biological experience we tend to call “falling in love.”It is the strong wave in the early part of the relationship .What scares most people is the idea of falling out of this so-called stage. What happens after that? What happens after the crash?

Author and blogger Dan Pearce, who was divorced twice, was sitting around the table with his family. As a tradition, they give advice to his sister on the eve of her wedding. He, then, realized and admitted to himself that he is not the right person to ask for marriage advice though he has plenty of “keep your marriage from ending” ones.

Also, as a writer, he knows that the advice-giving would have gone much better if he were a tenth as good at saying things as he was at writing them. So, he wrote his “Ways I Blew My Marriage” list – 16 things that he wishes he would have known or done differently so that he didn’t end up divorced.

He hopes the list would keep people from making the same mistakes he did.

The most sweet and innocent gesture probably is what counts the most.

Never stop doing the things you used to do to make yourself look good for your significant other.

Be their cheerleader and biggest supporter.

Be their cut of slack in a world filled with people who keep trying to bring them down.

Make them feel special by preparing a dish you made just for them.

Get off your bum and just say it to your lover up close.

Only call them names that involve sweet and sexy words.

Never let pieces of paper get in between you and destroy your relationship.

Never let the heat of the moment get the best of you.

Petty fights that seem pointless to you and your partner may be scarring to your kids.

Never stop encouraging the other to be better versions of themselves.

Keep motivating them to achieve their goals.

Keep on keeping some mystery in your relationship.

It is a way to keep that little thrill.

Remember how lucky you are to get to kiss the love of your life any time you want.

Just like they say, happiness is a choice.

Choose to just let loose every once and a while and think of all the fun you and memories you could have and make.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T . Respect your differences.

Communicating about your concerns could almost always fix the problems.

Uplift their spirits at times they feel low.

Be into what the other loves to do, be interested.

Talk it out. Talk it all out.

It’s okay to let yourselves cool off for a minute but never let the other go to sleep while you’re not in good terms. It would end up in overthinking and make a much bigger misunderstanding between the two of you.

It’s all about the things that may seem so little that goes a long way. It is those things that count the most. What most people tend not to understand about love and relationships is that it is a constant decision-making: to choose to work for you and your partner’s relationship. It is not merely finding someone who is perfect for you, although in the beginning that is the case, but it is also to keep the flame burning by being perfect for each other. It is constant and never ending hard work.

After all, “the course of true love never did run smooth.”