Surrogate Sparks Debate When She Refuses to Be In The Child’s Life After The Intended Mother Died

• Her best friend couldn’t have children because she was having fertility problems and the risk of dying was too high.
• She couldn’t stand the husband, but still agreed to the arrangement for her friend.
• The friend died and the husband has been calling her saying that she should step up as the child’s mother.

A recent post on Reddit revealed a controversial dilemma: A woman acted as a surrogate for her best friend. Unfortunately, the best friend died a few years after the baby girl was born and the woman refuses to get involved in the child’s life even if she was the one who gave birth to her in the first place.

The woman, under her Reddit username BirthParent_Pro, wanted to ask the internet’s opinion about her situation. She gave a background of the story, in which she revealed that her best friend couldn’t have children because she was having fertility problems and the risk of dying was too high.

The poster agreed to act as surrogate because of her best friend. She added that she couldn’t stand her friend’s husband, but still agreed to the arrangement because of her. According to the poster, there was a contract in place which states that, as a surrogate, she wouldn’t be responsible financially for the child.

However, tragedy struck and her best friend died a few years after the baby’s birth. She wasn’t able to go to the funeral because of the pandemic. Her best friend’s husband has been calling her saying that she should step up as the child’s mother because she gave birth to her.

“He keeps calling that I need to be in his daughter’s life, after declining multiple times I finally told him that, that kid isn’t mine even tho I gave birth to her. That I have no obligation to do jack sh*t and that I’m not going to replace my best friend as her mother,” she said.

“He called me an a**hole and going to get his lawyer involved.”

Distraught with the situation, the poster shared her story in the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit, wanting to her other people’s opinion.

“AITA for not wanting to be in a child’s life that I gave birth to?”

The general concensus among the Redditors who responded agreed that the whole thing was not the poster’s fault.

User OliveAndPeaz said: “First of all, I am sorry for your loss. Losing your friend, especially with everything else that is going on, is very difficult.”

“Secondly, NTA. You did something amazingly kind for your friend and her husband and made it very well known that you did not want to be responsible for the kid, going so far as to draw up a contract.”

“It is not your fault that he has not figured out how to parent by himself. Don’t let him bully you into doing something that you don’t want to.”

User the-Lady-Lazarus added: “NTA- that baby had a mother, and she passed away.”

They also pointed out that the surrogacy contract clears the poster from responsibility and that the father does not have legal room to force the surrogate to get involved with the kid’s life.

User ferocious_llama explained: “You’re NTA. Let him get his lawyer. He doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on.”

“I am really sorry you’re going through this. Keep records of your conversations in case you need to get a no contact order.”

What do you think about the surrogate’s situation? Do you think she should help the father out and get involved with the child’s life?